Crystal Baller

“Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir, but of your goodness, Dobby never knew…”

“Welcome! Welcome to the new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!”
- Albus Dumbledore presides over the Hogwarts banquet

“Well, if you don’t like it, you know what the solution is, don’t you?” yelled Hermione; her hair was coming down out of its elegant bun now, and her face was screwed up in anger.
“Oh yeah?” Ron yelled back. “What’s that?”
“Next time there’s a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!”
Ron mouthed soundlessly like a goldfish out of water as Hermione turned on her heel and stormed up the girls’ staircase to bed. Ron turned to look at Harry.
“Well,” he sputtered, looking thunderstruck, “well - that just proves - completely missed the point -“
Harry didn’t say anything. He liked being back on speaking terms with Ron too much to speak his mind right now, but he somehow thought that Hermione had gotten the point much better than Ron had.
- Closing Narration

“Why did you have to make it so difficult?”
“I am afraid I counted on Miss Granger to slow you up, Harry. I was afraid that your hot head might dominate your good heart. I was scared that, if presented outright with the facts about those tempting objects, you might seize the Hallows as I did, at the wrong time, for the wrong reasons… You are the true master of death, because the true master does not seek to run away from Death. He accepts that he must die, and understands that there are far, far worse things in the living world than dying.”
- Harry and Dumbldore, at the crossroads

LMFAO

Computer: Monitor, display this document, okay?
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: Okay, now it looks like the mouse is moving around. Monitor, can you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great, okay. Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, let me know if he clicks anything, okay?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed Ctrl and P simultaneously.
Monitor: Oh god, here we go.
Computer: *sigh* Printer, are you there?
Printer: No.
Computer: Please, Printer, I know you're there.
Printer: No! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: Jesus. Okay, you really nee-
Mouse: Sir! He's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: No! No! No! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: No! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You are not out of in-
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: *sigh* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen-
Computer: Just do it, damn it!
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: Ahhh! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm. He'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now? See what you've done!
Printer: Ha! That's what you get for trying to make me do work. Next time he- hey! HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh god, he's torn out my cartridge! PLEASE! Help! Error!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should try to help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself.

You’re afraid of what I could give you. Of how great we could be. Because when you look me in the eyes, and kiss me hard, pushing me into your mattress, it sure as hell isn’t confusion i see.

Across Five Aprils<3

I loved you for who you were
You tried and tried to change me
It’s funny now how you say you’re leaving
Because I’m not the man I used to be
Shape someone else now, mold someone new
Take someone else down your heart-shaped hallway too

I’ve got another confession to make
So complicated let me try to explain
Don’t want this feeling to go away
So it stays, it stays, it stays, it stays

Is it the way that you talk
That’s causing me to freak?
Is it the way that you laugh
That’s making my heart beat?
Is it the way that you kiss?
It’s gotta be the way that you taste.

You’re such a gorgeous nightmare
Old Habits never seem to go away
You make me feel brand new yeah
We resurrect it’s like I’ve come back to life

I feel so alive, I feel so alive!
First impressions are hard to erase
Etched in my mind and it just won’t go away
Maybe I’m playing my cards way too safe
I’ve gotta change (change)

Is it the way that you feel against my body?
Is it the way that you act so damn naughty?
Is it the way that you shake
When your hips move to the bass?

You’re such a gorgeous nightmare
Old Habits never seem to go away
You make me feel brand new yeah
We resurrect it’s like I’ve come back to life

I feel so alive, I feel so alive…

[Solo]

I feel so alive

You’re such a gorgeous nightmare
Old habits never seem to go away
You make me feel brand new yeah
We resurrect it’s like I’ve come back to life

You’re such a gorgeous nightmare
Old habits don’t go away
You make me feel brand new yeah
We resurrect it’s like I’ve come back to life

I feel so alive, I feel so alive.
I feel so alive, I feel so alive.

Do you wake up as I do, having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move? There is a second of consciousness that is clean again. A second that is you, without memory or experience, the animal warm and waking into a brand new world. There is the sun dissolving the dark, and light as clear as music, filling the room where you sleep and the other rooms behind your eyes.

Eventually, you just grow up. It’s like, once you have something traumatic happen your life, you mature like crazy. You are no longer laughing at that man with autism who lives with his mom down the street, you’re helping him and you don’t care what little thirteen year old is laughing at you. Eventually, you’ll be more than willing to spend an afternoon with a senior in your neighborhood, just hearing crazy stories about World War 2, or about another crazy thing that happened in the past. And when that day arrives - trust me, you’re going to be so happy that you got to experience that day, and you will never, ever regret it.

When he was seeing her, you could see he had his doubts. And now he’s missing her because he knows he’s missing out. Now it’s haunting him, her memory’s like a ghost. He’s so terrified ‘cause no one else even comes close.

Hey, look, I don’t wanna hold you up, I just wanted to let you know that if you lost all your limbs, we’d still be together forever. I mean, I really hope that doesn’t happen because I think your limbs are pretty great. And when I said your name, it would always sound safe. I’m not sure about the perfume and the cologne thing but I could try, ya know I mean, I could pick some up. I would always try to make you smile when you’re tired. I know you think that’s pretty hard to do but I could do that. And you would never have to be scared to tell me anything. And if you like this shirt, I wouldn’t take it off for a month. And I would be more than willing to paint your grandmothers toenails so your grandfather doesn’t have to do it anymore. You don’t have to save me. But I am going to love you for the rest of my life. So things would be a lot better for me if you were around.

There is love in your body but you can’t get it out. It gets stuck in your head, won’t come out of your mouth. Sticks to your tongue and shows on your face, that the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste.

Some people turn sad awfully young. No special reason, it seems, but they seem almost to be born that way. They bruise easier, tire faster, cry quicker, remember longer and, as I say, get sadder younger than anyone else in the world.

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

All people dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their mind wake in the morning to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, for they dream their dreams with open eyes, and make them come true.

When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.

I’m not saying you’re a slut. but if your vagina had a password it would be ”1234”

“Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.”

-Jim Rohn

Sometimes in your life, you need lust. You need the adrenaline rush of knowing that this is not forever and that you’re not committed to anything.

According to this myth, the gods tie an invisible red string around the ankles of men and women who are destined to be soul mates and will one day marry each other. The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of time, place or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break.

Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this; that love, true love never dies. You remember that. Doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.

-The Five People You Meet In Heaven

Well, I have to be honest, as much as I want it, I’m not gonna promise that cold winds won’t blow. So when hard times have found you and your fear surrounds you, wrap my love around you. You’re never alone.

I’d give you my everything, if you gave me yours. I know we tried this a few times, but that was before. I’m ready if you’re ready, and I’m pretty sure I am. I’m waiting for you here, but I don’t know how long I can.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn’t have to ride around with jerks.

With every moment we share, every smile, every touch, I become more certain that in you, I’ve found something I’ve looked for a very long time. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know how much your love excites me and how happy I feel when I’m with you. And, from this day forward, that’s more than enough.

I just have to tell you, I’m not so sure what I would do without you. I know it’s cold outside, but would you want to go for a ride? Cause this late night’s just no fun without you. And I just wanted to say thanks, you’re the only reason I’ve smiled in days.

“Predictable doesn’t always mean boring. Lust doesn’t always mean love. Near doesn’t always mean close. New doesn’t always mean exciting. Different doesn’t always mean better. Far doesn’t always mean distant. Knowing everything doesn’t make you wise. Knowing the truth doesn’t make you superior. Knowing your problem doesn’t solve it. Sitting between your past and future doesn’t mean you’re in the present.”

Any minute I’m not with you, I hope I’ll see you soon. There’s just something that happens when you walk into the room. And instantly, I feel so complete. It hits me right about the time you kiss my cheek. And you give me this feeling, it’s like no other feeling, but it knocks me off my feet.

Go up to a person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that it’s a big river, and the bunny on the side really needs to get to the other side. Then tell the person how they think the bunny will get across. And when they finally give up, give them puppy eyes and tell them that there was no bunny, but that you just wanted to hold their hand.

I never understood the whole “opposites attract” phrase. If two people are different and have different interests, why would they get along so well? But then I thought about it. “I love you for everything I’m not.” So, basically, two opposite people come together to fill in the missing parts of themselves.

I want to be the girlfriend, not the friend, not the confidant, not the other woman, not the friend with benefits, not the second choice. I want to be the one who is loved, held, and who gets the phone calls at night and the cute surprises, the kisses on the forehead and the I miss you’s. I want it all.

so he shall never know that i love him: and that, not because he is handsome, but because he’s more myself than i am. whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. - catherine, “wuthering heights”

“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”

people always say that when you love someone, nothing in the world matters. but that’s not true, is it? you know, and i know, that when you love someone, everything in the world matters a little bit more. - jodi picoult, “handle with care”

Don’t ever use someone’s past against them. You’re just reminding them of the mistakes they made back then. If you watch their facial expression carefully, then you’ll see the hurt in their eyes as they reminisce everything that happened. Never use emotion as a weapon, it strikes deeper than you can imagine.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart, or burn down your house, you can never tell.

have you ever loved someone so much, you’d give an arm for? not the expression, no literally, give an arm for; when they know they your heart and you know you were their armor and you would destroy anyone who would try to harm her.

I met a man I didn’t know that asked me how are you doing, should’ve just said fine cause it’s all he wanted to hear. But for reasons unknown in a sorrowful tone I said man it’s been a hell of a year, And I don’t really know where I’m going, And I might just be hanging around. If life’s shades of gray, then I guess you could say, that I’ve been waiting for a break in the clouds.

i gave him my heart, and he took and pinched it to death, and flung it back to me. people feel with their hearts: and since he has destroyed mine, i have not power to feel for him. - isabella, “wuthering heights”

If you’re angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug - which is all the more reason to do so. It’s hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that’s precisely what happens when we hug each other. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997

“But she knows she has a curse on her,

a curse she cannot win.

For if someone gets too close to her,

the pins stick further in.”

— Tim Burton

waking up this morning, i smile. twenty-four brand new hours are before me. i vow to live life fully in each moment and look at all beings with the eyes of compassion.

I won’t forget the day that, that I came to

And I started thinking that there’s more

Than just perfect prom queens and silver spoons

And all I ever wanted was someone to

knock me back to the bliss of ignorance

‘Cause I feel like running head first into traffic.

she, she ain’t real. she ain’t gonna be able to love you like i will. she is a stranger, you and i have history or don’t you remember? sure, she’s got it all, but baby is that really what you want? bless your soul, you’ve got your head in the clouds. you made a fool out of you, and boy she’s bringing you down. she made your heart melt but you’re cold to the core, now rumor has it she ain’t got your love anymore. - adele, “rumor has it”

It would be nice every now and then to get a hug, not a lecture.

I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people. to see one tiny part of them and confuse it for a whole. - lauren oliver, “before i fall”

to be mature, you have to be an adult. but to be in love, you have to be nothing but a human being with a heart.

This was how you knew love. My mother told me that. All you had to do was imagine your life without the other person. And if the thought alone made you shiver, then you knew.

Don’t have sex, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you’ve gotta start talking to them.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colourful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

i wouldn’t mind waking up beside you,

dusting behind you, reading the back half

of the paper while you read the front.

Fact: I am not gangster. I am a punk wanna be ghetto ass.

“It happened right then; he looked at me, and it was the thing I’d been waiting for but didn’t know it. I don’t mean anything corny like I fell in love or even into a crush or anything like that. It was more a feeling like when I’d get picked first for volleyball or find one of those stupid school candygrams in my locker. It was knowing someone else thought about me for more than one second, maybe even thought about me when I wasn’t there.”

I’m gonna take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it.

“Confidence is the only key.

I know a lot of people who aren’t traditionally ‘beautiful’ -

not symmetrical or perfect-bodied or perfect-skinned.

But none of that matters because all that shines through is their confidence.

I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than

someone who is unafraid to be herself.”- Emma Stone

How do you expect your girl to play her part , when you got another female auditioning for her role?

“A lot of men want a woman to mother them. They get with a woman and all they do is regress to the point where you might think he might not be capable to take care of himself at all. I don’t want another mother. I want a woman. I want to rise to the occasion. I want to learn and bask in your glow. I want to protect you and do whatever I can to give you strength. There is no twist to this. I am not about to blow my brains out. You have not cut me up like others have. It’s just this. I want to love you with everything in me. I need your help because I don’t know anything about it. I am suspicious and ready to leave and hit the cold road for the frozen dawn. I am just going to trust you with everything in me. I see now that it’s the only reason to be here. After kissing you, I cannot remember what it was like to kiss any other woman. At this point I am not sure if I ever have.” - H. Rollins

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” - Thomas Edison

“Thinking: the talking of the soul with itself.” - Plato

“Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.” - Hafiz

“I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.” - The Kite Runner

“I don’t suppose you have many friends. Neither do I. I don’t trust people who say they have a lot of friends. It’s a sure sign that they don’t really know anyone.” - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

“I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.” - Rite Mae Brown

“We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin.” - Andre Berthiaume

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” - Mary Anne Radmacher

we are all in the same game, just different levels. dealing with the same hell, just different devils.

My cat raps… His name? Wiska lifa.

When someone looks at your baby pictures and jokingly says “Aww, you were soo cute!What happened?” Bitch. I got sexy. That’s what happened

A boy has swag. A man has style. And a gentleman has class.

Some things you don’t know you miss until, out of nowhere, you have them back, or have them back but all wrong. The way, after a dream, where you’ve kissed someone who, in real life, you’ll never kiss again, maybe you’ve never kissed at all, you wake up and realise, in the throbbing pit of your stomach, how impossible it is to live without kissing them again.

I will lean into you and you can be the wind. I will open up my mouth and you can come rushing in. You can rush in hard and make it hard to breathe. I breathe too much any way. I can do that any day.

I don’t think anybody’s necessarily ready for death. You can only hope that when it approaches, you feel like you’ve said what you wanted to say. Nobody wants to go out in mid-sentence.

“The closest friends you’ll have are the ones you’d take a bullet for, but they’re the ones you constantly feel you could put a bullet in as well.” -Alex Gaskarth

“When we hold each other, in the darkness, it doesn’t make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better. “It’s all right” we whisper, “I’m here, I love you.” and we lie: “I’ll never leave you.” For just a moment or two the darkness doesn’t seem so bad.”

-Neil Gaiman

Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.

Sometimes, I get depressed; then I remember I have a great ass, & it’s all okay.

People always underestimate me, but I love being the underdog.

It’s always fun to come up from behind & bite people in their ass…

just to prove them wrong.

Stressing & obsessing is not my style. I was raised to say fuck you with a high class smile.

hes gorgeous, but gorgeous is an understatement

more like you’re startled everytime you see him

because you notice something new in a Where’s Waldo

sort of way. more like you can’t stop writing

third grade run on sentences because you can’t even

remotely begin to describe something, someone,

so inherently amazing. more like you’re afraid that if

you stare at him too long, you’ll prove your parents

right that, yes, your face will get stuck that way..

but you don’t mind.

(Source: severed-heads, via thatssometrippyshit)

Hello there, I'm Crystal. I'm pretty much the kind of girl who can look pretty batting my eyes or blackening yours... I was brought into this world on 11.2.91 and I've pretty much been chilling ever since. I have a few(5) tattoos - best money I've ever spent - and can't wait to get more. I have great friends who've helped me through a lot. Just a Bonnie still looking for my Clyde and having fun in the meantime (: Trying to have some fun in life and make the most of it...